Each person has a burning fire inside their heart. Depending on their choices, that fire may grow to devour everything or become extinguished.
Society controls more of our lives than we might think: our everyday actions and even the end goal in life. Chris was someone whose life up until this point had been about nothing but pleasing others. He was born into a wealthy family and naturally had to study all throughout his childhood. His life was planned out the day he was born.
His parents decided that he would graduate from Harvard Law and become a top lawyer to eventually join a top law firm. Indeed, Chris was successful. To the eyes of the others, his life was blessed. After all, Chris had not a single day of worrying about money in his life.
What’s more, Chris also had a well-accomplished and content wife. He, however, never took pleasure in his life. Moreover, Chris did not know where happiness came from. While somewhat cliché, Chris lived according to his parents’ plan, listening to such words like, “Fun can come after you go to Harvard.”
Then when he got into Harvard, the next thing they said was, “Fun can come after you become a lawyer.”
Years later, they said, “You’ll know fun when you get a wife and kids.”
Yet, the only emotion accompanying him today was a fleeting sense of guilt from his job. When he finally finished law school and passed the bar, he did not know just how many criminals he’d have to defend. Sure, the purpose of a lawyer is to ensure accurate verdicts, but most men willing to spend millions on a team of Harvard lawyers were the rich trying to escape a seemingly confirmed criminal case.
Another thing about his life was that most things in it were fake. His marriage with his wife never involved love. It was just two people from wealthy backgrounds looking for a deal to please each of their families as well as society.
However, when Chris realized that he was living someone else’s life, he was too late. He now had a beautiful, enviable wife and was a senior partner at the biggest law firm in America. So he thought to himself, “Maybe nobody really has happiness. I’ve tried my best and listened to every word, and did everything right.” And Chris’s life just continued. The same old day repeated each morning. His wife would greet him as he came home exactly at 7:05 p.m. every weekday. At this point, Chris was comfortable. It wasn’t a fun life, but was anyone’s life even that fulfilling?
The flame in Chris’s heart was fading; at least he believed it was.
“Hey, did you hear about Dave?” Bill, Chris’s paralegal, asked during lunch.
“The paralegal that left our firm last month?” Chris replied.
“His YouTube channel apparently blew up overnight. You know, the one where he drew random sketch art of celebrities and animals.”
“Huh,” Chris said, “I never really looked into his channel… but I never understood him. He had potential as a lawyer.” Chris wasn’t somebody who wasted time watching YouTube.
“You should check it out sometime. I mean, he’s moved on from this place for good, hasn’t he?”
“I guess,” Chris replied, “I guess.”
That night Chris thought about Dave. He was rather talkative, but definitely didn’t seem like he could entertain others for a living.
“Caroline, have you heard of this YouTube channel called Drawing IRL?” Chris asked his wife, who was lying beside him in bed.
“The artist YouTuber? Yeah, I’ve heard of him. His artwork is good, actually.” Caroline said.
“I guess he’s pretty well known then,” said Chris. “He used to work with me, you know.”
Caroline turned around in surprise. In a tone Chris had never heard her speak in before, she asked, “Someone from a corporate law firm?”
Confused, Chris replied, “What’s so surprising about that?”
Caroline said with a shrug, “Well, the people in law firms are always so stiff and dull; I never thought someone from that type of occupation could make art.”
After saying that, Caroline turned back around and fell asleep. Unlike Caroline, however, Chris couldn’t sleep. He had become curious about what could rile up his cold wife so much. He clicked on one of the videos and, to his shock, Chris saw just the same old paralegal. Yet, something was different: his voice was higher, his eyes were sparkling with focus he had not shown in the firm, and, most importantly, the corners of his mouth were pointed toward the sky in a smile.
Chris put his phone aside, trying to put aside his confusion as well. He wondered how someone could be so happy from making a YouTube video.
He stared at the ceiling for a while.
Still, Chris was left bamboozled with the contrasting appearance of Dave to anyone in the firm. Tonight, he wouldn’t be able to sleep until hours later after pondering and failing to reach an answer to his question.
Regardless, Chris woke up and went to work as usual. Putting aside the unnecessary thoughts of last night, he called his secretary for a file.
“Here is the evidence for the sexual assault case.”
“Thank you, I will read it over.” The file in Chris’s hands felt like less than four sheets of paper. From this, Chris immediately knew what type of case this would be. He called the secretary and said, “I want a meeting with Mr. Buanan.” Later that day, his secretary knocked on the office door, guiding Mr. Buanan inside.
Without allowing Mr. Buanan enough time to sit down, Chris asked “So tell me, did you rape this woman?”
The man laughed, leaned towards Chris, and smiled. “Does it matter? Just take my money and solve it. That’s your job. I mean, I’m sure it’ll also be a bummer for the firm to lose you.”
“Get out!” Chris shot back. In the moment, Chris thought he was just thinking the words to himself. But then he looked up to a ripening tomato in a $30,000 suit, ready to burst. Something had snapped inside Chris. Although the man said something along the lines of, “If I leave this room, I’m having you fired,” Chris did not care. All he felt was an inexplicable sense of relief.
Was it from a sense of guilt? Or because he could finally pursue whatever makes him smile the way Dave does? A dream yet to be found, Chris hoped to himself. Just the thought was enough to excite him. He filled out the paperwork for his resignation quicker than he had ever filled out the paperwork for a case; he was scared of changing his mind. Then he called upon his secretary and said, “Thank you for all of your hard work, and I hope you find the way you want to live your life. I will try to as well.” After those words, Chris left, giddy with happiness about the last time he’d be at the 49th floor of the corporate building.
Chris had decided to simply free himself from anything and everything. As he arrived home, he yelled, “I’m not a lawyer anymore!”
His wife, coming to meet him at the door, laughed at first. She believed it was a joke. Then a period of silence passed in which she realized that her husband had never joked, not once in their whole marriage.
“No… you have to be joking.” Chris didn’t say anything. His face was that of someone who had expected this reaction.
“Are you going to say something? Do you have anything to say?”
“Not much.”
Caroline looked at Chris’ face. She realized that she didn’t recognize him anymore. She reached for Chris’s briefcase, and as he moved his hand to avoid it, his bag fell, dropping the only thing it was holding: divorce papers.
Seeing the papers on the floor, she sighed. “You’ve shortened the time we’d have to spend on the divorce.”
Chris finally showed a little bit of emotion: pity. As if it were fate, he pulled out a pen from a nearby drawer–the same pen used to sign their wedding papers. Still, no one in the room flinched, hesitated, or shed a single tear. Caroline simply signed her parts and handed it back.
Chris woke up the next morning at exactly 6:30 a.m., showered, got into his suit, and picked up his briefcase—at which point he remembered the previous day. Overnight, the house seemed to have become colder as Caroline left with everything she possessed. There was absolutely no trace of anyone but him living there.
Ignoring the newfound emptiness in his home, Chris turned his phone on and bought a gaming console for the first time in his life. Over the two days of waiting for his console, he tried multiple things. He tried brainstorming ideas for a novel but quit halfway, declaring that writing wasn’t for him. He tried playing sports like basketball, soccer, and golf. It didn’t take long, though, before he crossed out sports from his dream.
Finally, after two long days, the gaming console arrived. He read and repeated what the instruction paper said over and over in order to start the console, but nothing happened. After many attempts, he finally gave up and texted his friend Sean, “Can you come over to my house and help me with setting up a gaming console?”
“Are you going to pay?” Sean messaged back.
Soon, he heard a knock from his front door and he ran out. The seemingly impossible task was finished in a matter of minutes by his friend. Chris said awkwardly, “Well… Thanks for the help.” He slid a $50 bill into Sean’s hand.
Sean replied, “No worries, but delete my number now, will you?”
Although the only person Chris considered a friend did not want him in his life, Chris didn’t particularly care. He finally had his console running, and some flimsy friendship from high school wasn’t going to stop Chris from enjoying it. But the more he played, the more tedious the characters and story seemed. Gaming was also now off the list.
That night, Chris couldn’t fall asleep once more. He debated with himself—had he made a mistake, was what society told him to become actually the best thing for him all along? Filled with those thoughts, Chris ran to his computer and started writing an email to the law firm. “Dear HR, I accidentally sent in a resignation letter two days ago. I have been working at the law firm for over 10 years and I take pleasure in my work as a lawyer. I would like to rescind my letter of resignation…” Chris deleted the email before he finished it.
Suddenly, Chris dropped to his knees and prayed, “Please God, if you really are there please let me find some meaning. Whatever it is that can give me those eager, glistening eyes… I already tried so much.” After he finished praying, Chris finally went to sleep. In the morning, he started a brand new day with a plan to try more things.
Over the course of a month, Chris tried a lot of activities, ranging from surfing, Dungeons and Dragons, binge watching TV, and painting. All the blogs he found told him that these were the best hobbies. While some piqued his interest, nothing really satisfied Chris the way he wanted them to. Whatever he was doing, it still felt like something was missing within him. This feeling he had carried ever since he had become a lawyer never seemed to disappear. Until one day, he tried cooking.
His first attempt was with a quick YouTube tutorial on how to make eggs. He cracked the egg and successfully made a sunny-side-up. Nevertheless, cooking didn’t cure this emptiness he felt deep in his heart and he gradually lost interest in it just like everything else he’d tried.
As Chris sat in the kitchen thinking about the next new hobby to try, he belatedly realized that he had forgotten to turn off the stove. The leftover oil in the pan caught fire immediately after this realization. For a split second, Chris stood frozen, mesmerized by the flames. He could feel the warmth of the fire filling up some of the empty void. When he came to, he promptly put out the flames.
Not wanting to continue cooking, Chris left and headed to a café for lunch. He got his food and sat down, but nothing could shake the image of the fire burning that filled his mind. He tried reading a book, watching YouTube, and even texting a friend, but nothing could get his mind off those flames. Throughout the whole day, he tried to forget what he had seen—but his mind eventually returned to the fire.
To get rid of that itch in his brain, Chris bought a lighter at the convenience store near his house. When he returned home, he immediately walked into the kitchen where he extended his arm to the large wooden table, pressed on the lighter, and waited until the flame caught. Once again, just seconds later Chris was surprised. “Why am I just holding the lighter while the table burns?”
Without thinking, Chris grabbed a metal ice bucket from the shelf and went to the bathroom to fill it with water. Upon returning, instead of extinguishing the fire, he paused to watch the flames. The flames had grown bigger, and the fire gradually engulfed the chairs, the floor, and spread throughout the entire house. Surrounded by fierce red waves, Chris was, for some reason, violently laughing. He was oblivious to the danger of the fire scattering around his house faster and faster. Even as his face was losing color and he was gasping desperately for air, he didn’t move. He heard a voice shout somewhere behind him, “What are you doing?! Get out of the house!” Then, he fainted.
Chris woke up with a shout, and then noticed that he was lying on a hospital bed. Baffled, he pressed a button to call the nurse. She brought a doctor with her who explained to him that he had been unconscious for over a week. Apparently, his house had also completely burned down. Finally, the nurse warned, “Sir, you should stay in the hospital for two more days while we run some more tests.”
Chris did not reply. His eyes were blindly staring upwards. Ever since he woke up, he saw a small fire within his vision. The flame kept growing in size, starting from the size of a burning pan to the size of a forest fire, and Chris suddenly felt an urge to see more.
The thirst inside continued to grow, and Chris felt helpless in the hospital with no access to the flames he craved. Every second he spent in the hospital was filled with agony as he began to question the ominous sense of satisfaction that fire gave him. The flames in his eyes only grew bigger while Chris grew more frustrated.
With the dilemma brewing, Chris was finally cleared to leave the hospital. For now, he would live at a hotel nearby. He plodded along the street toward the building, when his ears pointed backwards to a siren. His heart started beating fast and his face turned red.
His mind began to fixate on the array of fire trucks and ambulances. Was there a fire nearby? Could he go watch it?
Then, Chris spotted thin clouds of smoke rising from a distance. Without a second thought, he ran in that direction. When he actually arrived at the scene, panting from the unexpected burst of intensity, all he could see were ashes, smoke, and a crowd of people. Some of the people shed tears, while others seemed drawn by the drama of the situation.
All Chris felt, though, was discontent that he could not see any flames aggressively engulfing all they touched. As if God had heard his prayers, Chris’s dilemma was over. He was now sure that the only thing to quell his seemingly everlasting struggle for satisfaction was the sight of burning destruction.
He needed it. He needed it desperately and he couldn’t wait. He knew he needed to burn something quick. Silently, Chris left the site. He ducked into the nearest convenience store, purchased a small lighter, and consoled himself on the walk back to the hotel by watching the small flame. It felt as if someone was punching Chris’s guts, demanding another view of fiery chaos.
Barely holding himself together, Chris checked into his temporary residence. After entering the room, he immediately collapsed on the stiff hotel bed. He closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep.
The next day, with a loud gasp, Chris opened his eyes. There was only one thing on his mind. What could he burn next?
Chris looked out of the hotel window, frustrated. He then locked eyes on a large sofa on the curb across the street, waiting for trash pick up. He knew what to do.
Quickly grabbing his wallet, Chris hurried to the closest gas station, where he bought a shiny new lighter and a jerry can of gasoline. He then headed to a secluded alleyway near the sofa to scope out the space. It was perfect. He spent the next 20 or so minutes dragging the large piece of furniture to the alley.
When he had the sofa where he wanted it, he immediately began to pour gasoline on the surface until it was fully coated in the toxic scent of the liquid. Chris then flicked on his brand new lighter and connected the flame with the left armrest of the sofa.
Stepping away just enough to avoid direct contact with the blaze, Chris smiled. The fire consumed the gasoline-soaked sofa. Without blinking, Chris caught every moment of the flames. His eyes stared into the bright flames as they eventually dimmed and sputtered, leaving only glowing ashes behind.
His brain was filled with an unequivocal sense of pleasure. The gratification only grew as he thought about how quickly the sofa was destroyed by the fire. In his mind, he could still see the flames devouring the cushions and wooden frame.
Later at the hotel, Chis still felt drowned in the scenery from earlier that day. He once again fell asleep, his mind consumed with fire. The next day, he had the same goal. Jumping and running straight towards the door, Chris grabbed his new prized possession, the jerry can, and ran out to a nearby park.
Families, couples, and friends all seemed to be enjoying the nice weather at the park. As he slowed down to a walk, heading for the center of the park, Chris saw a young girl point at him and ask her mother, “Is that a homeless man, Mommy?”
Chris could not control his laughter. Only weeks ago, others looked at him with respect and admiration. But he asked himself, “Did I ever really care?” Chris heard no answer as he showered himself in gasoline and slowly clicked the lighter to ignite his left sleeve, waiting for the fire to spread.
He could hear some murmurs that escalated into shouts. He did not care.
He felt the fire slowly reaching his body. The pain from the flames was enough to drive a man crazy. As the fire reached his face and wrapped against his whole body, he finally saw the world burn. Everything was on fire. The trees, the statues, even the people. Nothing could restrict the fire and the fire would never stop. When he closed and then opened his eyes, he was faced with a whole new world. Ironically, as Chris was dying he felt more alive than he ever had before, and the emptiness he had always felt in his life was finally filled.
Yes, the entire world was burning. The Man Who Burned the World
Each person has a burning fire inside their heart. Depending on their choices, that fire may grow to devour everything or become extinguished.
Society controls more of our lives than we might think: our everyday actions and even the end goal in life. Chris was someone whose life up until this point had been about nothing but pleasing others. He was born into a wealthy family and naturally had to study all throughout his childhood. His life was planned out the day he was born.
His parents decided that he would graduate from Harvard Law and become a top lawyer to eventually join a top law firm. Indeed, Chris was successful. To the eyes of the others, his life was blessed. After all, Chris had not a single day of worrying about money in his life.
What’s more, Chris also had a well-accomplished and content wife. He, however, never took pleasure in his life. Moreover, Chris did not know where happiness came from. While somewhat cliché, Chris lived according to his parents’ plan, listening to such words like, “Fun can come after you go to Harvard.”
Then when he got into Harvard, the next thing they said was, “Fun can come after you become a lawyer.”
Years later, they said, “You’ll know fun when you get a wife and kids.”
Yet, the only emotion accompanying him today was a fleeting sense of guilt from his job. When he finally finished law school and passed the bar, he did not know just how many criminals he’d have to defend. Sure, the purpose of a lawyer is to ensure accurate verdicts, but most men willing to spend millions on a team of Harvard lawyers were the rich trying to escape a seemingly confirmed criminal case.
Another thing about his life was that most things in it were fake. His marriage with his wife never involved love. It was just two people from wealthy backgrounds looking for a deal to please each of their families as well as society.
However, when Chris realized that he was living someone else’s life, he was too late. He now had a beautiful, enviable wife and was a senior partner at the biggest law firm in America. So he thought to himself, “Maybe nobody really has happiness. I’ve tried my best and listened to every word, and did everything right.” And Chris’s life just continued. The same old day repeated each morning. His wife would greet him as he came home exactly at 7:05 p.m. every weekday. At this point, Chris was comfortable. It wasn’t a fun life, but was anyone’s life even that fulfilling?
The flame in Chris’s heart was fading; at least he believed it was.
“Hey, did you hear about Dave?” Bill, Chris’s paralegal, asked during lunch.
“The paralegal that left our firm last month?” Chris replied.
“His YouTube channel apparently blew up overnight. You know, the one where he drew random sketch art of celebrities and animals.”
“Huh,” Chris said, “I never really looked into his channel… but I never understood him. He had potential as a lawyer.” Chris wasn’t somebody who wasted time watching YouTube.
“You should check it out sometime. I mean, he’s moved on from this place for good, hasn’t he?”
“I guess,” Chris replied, “I guess.”
That night Chris thought about Dave. He was rather talkative, but definitely didn’t seem like he could entertain others for a living.
“Caroline, have you heard of this YouTube channel called Drawing IRL?” Chris asked his wife, who was lying beside him in bed.
“The artist YouTuber? Yeah, I’ve heard of him. His artwork is good, actually.” Caroline said.
“I guess he’s pretty well known then,” said Chris. “He used to work with me, you know.”
Caroline turned around in surprise. In a tone Chris had never heard her speak in before, she asked, “Someone from a corporate law firm?”
Confused, Chris replied, “What’s so surprising about that?”
Caroline said with a shrug, “Well, the people in law firms are always so stiff and dull; I never thought someone from that type of occupation could make art.”
After saying that, Caroline turned back around and fell asleep. Unlike Caroline, however, Chris couldn’t sleep. He had become curious about what could rile up his cold wife so much. He clicked on one of the videos and, to his shock, Chris saw just the same old paralegal. Yet, something was different: his voice was higher, his eyes were sparkling with focus he had not shown in the firm, and, most importantly, the corners of his mouth were pointed toward the sky in a smile.
Chris put his phone aside, trying to put aside his confusion as well. He wondered how someone could be so happy from making a YouTube video.
He stared at the ceiling for a while.
Still, Chris was left bamboozled with the contrasting appearance of Dave to anyone in the firm. Tonight, he wouldn’t be able to sleep until hours later after pondering and failing to reach an answer to his question.
Regardless, Chris woke up and went to work as usual. Putting aside the unnecessary thoughts of last night, he called his secretary for a file.
“Here is the evidence for the sexual assault case.”
“Thank you, I will read it over.” The file in Chris’s hands felt like less than four sheets of paper. From this, Chris immediately knew what type of case this would be. He called the secretary and said, “I want a meeting with Mr. Buanan.” Later that day, his secretary knocked on the office door, guiding Mr. Buanan inside.
Without allowing Mr. Buanan enough time to sit down, Chris asked “So tell me, did you rape this woman?”
The man laughed, leaned towards Chris, and smiled. “Does it matter? Just take my money and solve it. That’s your job. I mean, I’m sure it’ll also be a bummer for the firm to lose you.”
“Get out!” Chris shot back. In the moment, Chris thought he was just thinking the words to himself. But then he looked up to a ripening tomato in a $30,000 suit, ready to burst. Something had snapped inside Chris. Although the man said something along the lines of, “If I leave this room, I’m having you fired,” Chris did not care. All he felt was an inexplicable sense of relief.
Was it from a sense of guilt? Or because he could finally pursue whatever makes him smile the way Dave does? A dream yet to be found, Chris hoped to himself. Just the thought was enough to excite him. He filled out the paperwork for his resignation quicker than he had ever filled out the paperwork for a case; he was scared of changing his mind. Then he called upon his secretary and said, “Thank you for all of your hard work, and I hope you find the way you want to live your life. I will try to as well.” After those words, Chris left, giddy with happiness about the last time he’d be at the 49th floor of the corporate building.
Chris had decided to simply free himself from anything and everything. As he arrived home, he yelled, “I’m not a lawyer anymore!”
His wife, coming to meet him at the door, laughed at first. She believed it was a joke. Then a period of silence passed in which she realized that her husband had never joked, not once in their whole marriage.
“No… you have to be joking.” Chris didn’t say anything. His face was that of someone who had expected this reaction.
“Are you going to say something? Do you have anything to say?”
“Not much.”
Caroline looked at Chris’ face. She realized that she didn’t recognize him anymore. She reached for Chris’s briefcase, and as he moved his hand to avoid it, his bag fell, dropping the only thing it was holding: divorce papers.
Seeing the papers on the floor, she sighed. “You’ve shortened the time we’d have to spend on the divorce.”
Chris finally showed a little bit of emotion: pity. As if it were fate, he pulled out a pen from a nearby drawer–the same pen used to sign their wedding papers. Still, no one in the room flinched, hesitated, or shed a single tear. Caroline simply signed her parts and handed it back.
Chris woke up the next morning at exactly 6:30 a.m., showered, got into his suit, and picked up his briefcase—at which point he remembered the previous day. Overnight, the house seemed to have become colder as Caroline left with everything she possessed. There was absolutely no trace of anyone but him living there.
Ignoring the newfound emptiness in his home, Chris turned his phone on and bought a gaming console for the first time in his life. Over the two days of waiting for his console, he tried multiple things. He tried brainstorming ideas for a novel but quit halfway, declaring that writing wasn’t for him. He tried playing sports like basketball, soccer, and golf. It didn’t take long, though, before he crossed out sports from his dream.
Finally, after two long days, the gaming console arrived. He read and repeated what the instruction paper said over and over in order to start the console, but nothing happened. After many attempts, he finally gave up and texted his friend Sean, “Can you come over to my house and help me with setting up a gaming console?”
“Are you going to pay?” Sean messaged back.
Soon, he heard a knock from his front door and he ran out. The seemingly impossible task was finished in a matter of minutes by his friend. Chris said awkwardly, “Well… Thanks for the help.” He slid a $50 bill into Sean’s hand.
Sean replied, “No worries, but delete my number now, will you?”
Although the only person Chris considered a friend did not want him in his life, Chris didn’t particularly care. He finally had his console running, and some flimsy friendship from high school wasn’t going to stop Chris from enjoying it. But the more he played, the more tedious the characters and story seemed. Gaming was also now off the list.
That night, Chris couldn’t fall asleep once more. He debated with himself—had he made a mistake, was what society told him to become actually the best thing for him all along? Filled with those thoughts, Chris ran to his computer and started writing an email to the law firm. “Dear HR, I accidentally sent in a resignation letter two days ago. I have been working at the law firm for over 10 years and I take pleasure in my work as a lawyer. I would like to rescind my letter of resignation…” Chris deleted the email before he finished it.
Suddenly, Chris dropped to his knees and prayed, “Please God, if you really are there please let me find some meaning. Whatever it is that can give me those eager, glistening eyes… I already tried so much.” After he finished praying, Chris finally went to sleep. In the morning, he started a brand new day with a plan to try more things.
Over the course of a month, Chris tried a lot of activities, ranging from surfing, Dungeons and Dragons, binge watching TV, and painting. All the blogs he found told him that these were the best hobbies. While some piqued his interest, nothing really satisfied Chris the way he wanted them to. Whatever he was doing, it still felt like something was missing within him. This feeling he had carried ever since he had become a lawyer never seemed to disappear. Until one day, he tried cooking.
His first attempt was with a quick YouTube tutorial on how to make eggs. He cracked the egg and successfully made a sunny-side-up. Nevertheless, cooking didn’t cure this emptiness he felt deep in his heart and he gradually lost interest in it just like everything else he’d tried.
As Chris sat in the kitchen thinking about the next new hobby to try, he belatedly realized that he had forgotten to turn off the stove. The leftover oil in the pan caught fire immediately after this realization. For a split second, Chris stood frozen, mesmerized by the flames. He could feel the warmth of the fire filling up some of the empty void. When he came to, he promptly put out the flames.
Not wanting to continue cooking, Chris left and headed to a café for lunch. He got his food and sat down, but nothing could shake the image of the fire burning that filled his mind. He tried reading a book, watching YouTube, and even texting a friend, but nothing could get his mind off those flames. Throughout the whole day, he tried to forget what he had seen—but his mind eventually returned to the fire.
To get rid of that itch in his brain, Chris bought a lighter at the convenience store near his house. When he returned home, he immediately walked into the kitchen where he extended his arm to the large wooden table, pressed on the lighter, and waited until the flame caught. Once again, just seconds later Chris was surprised. “Why am I just holding the lighter while the table burns?”
Without thinking, Chris grabbed a metal ice bucket from the shelf and went to the bathroom to fill it with water. Upon returning, instead of extinguishing the fire, he paused to watch the flames. The flames had grown bigger, and the fire gradually engulfed the chairs, the floor, and spread throughout the entire house. Surrounded by fierce red waves, Chris was, for some reason, violently laughing. He was oblivious to the danger of the fire scattering around his house faster and faster. Even as his face was losing color and he was gasping desperately for air, he didn’t move. He heard a voice shout somewhere behind him, “What are you doing?! Get out of the house!” Then, he fainted.
Chris woke up with a shout, and then noticed that he was lying on a hospital bed. Baffled, he pressed a button to call the nurse. She brought a doctor with her who explained to him that he had been unconscious for over a week. Apparently, his house had also completely burned down. Finally, the nurse warned, “Sir, you should stay in the hospital for two more days while we run some more tests.”
Chris did not reply. His eyes were blindly staring upwards. Ever since he woke up, he saw a small fire within his vision. The flame kept growing in size, starting from the size of a burning pan to the size of a forest fire, and Chris suddenly felt an urge to see more.
The thirst inside continued to grow, and Chris felt helpless in the hospital with no access to the flames he craved. Every second he spent in the hospital was filled with agony as he began to question the ominous sense of satisfaction that fire gave him. The flames in his eyes only grew bigger while Chris grew more frustrated.
With the dilemma brewing, Chris was finally cleared to leave the hospital. For now, he would live at a hotel nearby. He plodded along the street toward the building, when his ears pointed backwards to a siren. His heart started beating fast and his face turned red.
His mind began to fixate on the array of fire trucks and ambulances. Was there a fire nearby? Could he go watch it?
Then, Chris spotted thin clouds of smoke rising from a distance. Without a second thought, he ran in that direction. When he actually arrived at the scene, panting from the unexpected burst of intensity, all he could see were ashes, smoke, and a crowd of people. Some of the people shed tears, while others seemed drawn by the drama of the situation.
All Chris felt, though, was discontent that he could not see any flames aggressively engulfing all they touched. As if God had heard his prayers, Chris’s dilemma was over. He was now sure that the only thing to quell his seemingly everlasting struggle for satisfaction was the sight of burning destruction.
He needed it. He needed it desperately and he couldn’t wait. He knew he needed to burn something quick. Silently, Chris left the site. He ducked into the nearest convenience store, purchased a small lighter, and consoled himself on the walk back to the hotel by watching the small flame. It felt as if someone was punching Chris’s guts, demanding another view of fiery chaos.
Barely holding himself together, Chris checked into his temporary residence. After entering the room, he immediately collapsed on the stiff hotel bed. He closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep.
The next day, with a loud gasp, Chris opened his eyes. There was only one thing on his mind. What could he burn next?
Chris looked out of the hotel window, frustrated. He then locked eyes on a large sofa on the curb across the street, waiting for trash pick up. He knew what to do.
Quickly grabbing his wallet, Chris hurried to the closest gas station, where he bought a shiny new lighter and a jerry can of gasoline. He then headed to a secluded alleyway near the sofa to scope out the space. It was perfect. He spent the next 20 or so minutes dragging the large piece of furniture to the alley.
When he had the sofa where he wanted it, he immediately began to pour gasoline on the surface until it was fully coated in the toxic scent of the liquid. Chris then flicked on his brand new lighter and connected the flame with the left armrest of the sofa.
Stepping away just enough to avoid direct contact with the blaze, Chris smiled. The fire consumed the gasoline-soaked sofa. Without blinking, Chris caught every moment of the flames. His eyes stared into the bright flames as they eventually dimmed and sputtered, leaving only glowing ashes behind.
His brain was filled with an unequivocal sense of pleasure. The gratification only grew as he thought about how quickly the sofa was destroyed by the fire. In his mind, he could still see the flames devouring the cushions and wooden frame.
Later at the hotel, Chis still felt drowned in the scenery from earlier that day. He once again fell asleep, his mind consumed with fire. The next day, he had the same goal. Jumping and running straight towards the door, Chris grabbed his new prized possession, the jerry can, and ran out to a nearby park.
Families, couples, and friends all seemed to be enjoying the nice weather at the park. As he slowed down to a walk, heading for the center of the park, Chris saw a young girl point at him and ask her mother, “Is that a homeless man, Mommy?”
Chris could not control his laughter. Only weeks ago, others looked at him with respect and admiration. But he asked himself, “Did I ever really care?” Chris heard no answer as he showered himself in gasoline and slowly clicked the lighter to ignite his left sleeve, waiting for the fire to spread.
He could hear some murmurs that escalated into shouts. He did not care.
He felt the fire slowly reaching his body. The pain from the flames was enough to drive a man crazy. As the fire reached his face and wrapped against his whole body, he finally saw the world burn. Everything was on fire. The trees, the statues, even the people. Nothing could restrict the fire and the fire would never stop. When he closed and then opened his eyes, he was faced with a whole new world. Ironically, as Chris was dying he felt more alive than he ever had before, and the emptiness he had always felt in his life was finally filled.
Yes, the entire world was burning.
Donghyun Han is seventeen years old and a rising senior at Seoul International School. He spent his childhood both in Canada and in his current home, South Korea. Donghyun was inspired to write this piece after observing the pressure many of his peers and friends had in today’s society. So, he decided to write an extreme case of today’s societal pressure and psychological breakdown. He also writes on a variety of other topics and genres, while working as the Managing Editor of his school newspaper, Tiger Times. Additionally, he is interested in studying about human rights and North Korea. He has been conducting research about North Korean defectors and resettlement policies. In his leisure time, Donghyun enjoys basketball, music, and reading.
"Fire" by Pure_nutter is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
